Yes, definitely! Trauma-informed therapy is advisable for people who are dealing with divorce, especially children. The separation of parents is something that can alter their lives, and coping does not happen overnight. According to Cynthia Ridgway, MA, LMHC, NCC, DCC, “Kids with trauma (and the more trauma, the more true this is) are very vulnerable when they are disciplined, so you want to discipline very carefully. Try to be as gentle as you can while still holding reasonable and safe guidelines.”
The divorce of parents is considered to be traumatic. It is something that creates a hole where one can be trapped if he doesn’t know how to climb up. Adolescents who are a product of divorced parents are prone to misbehaving like getting involved in substance abuse. For this reason, parents should be aware of the things they can contribute to the mental wellness of their children. Trauma-informed therapy focuses on the leading cause of the problem which is a traumatic event. In this case, the divorce of parents.
Opting to send their children to a trauma-informed therapy session is a crucial step for parents towards preventing serious problems in the future, as Frederick Douglass said, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
When parents decide to get divorced, there must be a serious problem that cannot be fixed with just a simple talk or compromise. It is fair to assume that there must be some form of abuse that happened: physical, emotional, financial, or even sexual. As Tiffany Lowther, MA, LMHC explains it, “Divorce is emotional, and for most parents and certainly for their children, it is the most emotion they have ever experienced or confronted all at once.”
Traumatic Abuses That Happen In A Marriage Resulting To A Divorce:
- Physical abuse is traumatic. When the children witness, commonly the father, beating their mother, it has a horrible impact on their minds. They are exposed to violence; therefore, they could resort to it whenever they are faced with a feud or disagreement with other people.
- Emotional abuse is hurtful words thrown at someone that affects his or her self-worth. Cursing, name calling, or anything that degrades the moral of a person is considered verbal or emotional abuse. It can affect children or anyone for that matter as words linger to our minds and somehow shape the way we think and behave.
- Financial abuse can be traumatic as well. For instance, when one of the family members needs hospitalization, but there’s just nothing to spend. It is frustrating and it can promote resentment in a way. A child might hate the father who is supposed to be the person providing for the family’s needs.
- Sexual abuse can also happen when the wife didn’t consent to have intercourse and was forced violently, and somehow, the children are aware. It could be worse when the sexual abuse happens to a daughter, a horrible and unfortunate incident that should lead to divorce and a criminal case at that.
Parental divorce is a challenging experience to go through. Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC once said, “One of the things divorced partners frequently fail to recognize is the importance of the other parent in the kid’s life.” If parents are not trauma-informed, they may assume that what they are going to let their children go through is just another life phase. However, being aware of the consequences and possible effects of a feud or separation in the family, the parents can still protect their children from wrong choices and blinded but rational thoughts of resentment.
Some things cannot be avoided. There are life series that we have to deal with whether we like it or not as a perfect childhood or perfect life is an illusion. It’s a matter of preparation to face the realities of life. As parents, if divorce is imminent, the least we could do is to make sure that our children get the highest help they could have. It determines how they are going to be as an adult, and again, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”