Category: Family Issues

Let me tell you a story about a young girl who had got diagnosed with depression and ADHD. Let’s call her by the name of Sam.

Sam had seen a child psychologist during her elementary days. In fact, when she received a depression diagnosis in the seventh grade, the mental health professional told her to take antidepressants twice a day.

The drugs were so strong that they always knocked her out cold. However, the morning pill always had to be taken at school. Luckily, her teachers were aware of her situation, and Sam was allowed to sleep through a class and catch up after 30 minutes or so every day. Then, her Mom and Dad would pick Sam up at school to not need to take the public bus to return home.

If you analyze the circumstance, you could tell how much Sam’s parents cared for her. Imagine, she could have stayed depressed without seeing a psychologist, and people would call her a rebellious child, but her parents would not have that. They did not want to believe that their child was awful, so they brought her to a mental health facility to know what was genuinely going on in her mind. Granted, no psychologist had any tool to know the specifics, but they knew how to assess the symptoms and name the problem.

Sam’s Home Situation

No matter how much Sam’s parents sacrificed for her, it did not seem enough for the little girl. It became more evident when the pandemic came, and the school advised everyone that all the classes would commence online. There was no talk about when they would return to regular schooling, so the children were expected to appear for online classes every day.

At first, Sam was doing well. She loved the internet and talked about how nice it was to “go to school” l without hurrying to get dressed in the morning. Unfortunately, as the months went on, the lessons became harder. Sam used to get by in the past will her friends’ help before the classes. Since they were too far from each other now, and Sam’s parents did not actually understand the lessons, Sam grew dejected more and more every day. She also began to despise her Mom and Dad and said that they only talk to her about her online classes. Then, Sam shocked everyone when she announced on her Instagram page that she already told the teachers she was more than willing to repeat the grade level next year when the pandemic is over.

You could not imagine the devastation that her parents must have felt after getting a call from the homeroom adviser regarding Sam’s decision.

The Last Resort

Being a friend of Sam’s parents, her condition had always been known to me. I had seen how her behavior began to change for the worse when the pandemic started. Still, I did not feel like she was a hopeless case. I told her parents to bring Sam to another psychologist to see if they would get a different diagnosis. And they did – she got diagnosed with ADHD.

Instead of gaining clarity, though, it confused the couple even more.

“So, does it mean that my child has depression and ADHD?”

“I am afraid so, yes,” the new psychologist answered.

“How could that be possible?”

Can you have ADHD and depression?

Yes, you can have ADHD and depression. When you get diagnosed with ADHD first, it may not take long before you develop depression, especially if you always feel like you cannot keep up with your peers. However, getting diagnosed with depression does not always mean you can have ADHD later.

Can ADHD cause depression and anxiety?

ADHD cannot cause depression and anxiety; instead, these are two side effects of the former condition. After all, the older you get, the more you realize that you cannot absorb information from other non-disabled individuals. As you experience more failures in life because of it, you tend to feel depressed and anxious.

What is it like having ADHD and depression?

When you have ADHD, you hardly get anything done. You technically are aware of your deadlines, but you end up losing track of time. That may cause you to feel restless and more like a failure every time. Since you experience emotions intensely, they can lead to depression.

Once ADHD and depression are comorbid, you tend to make more mistakes. Your senses of worthlessness and helplessness increase significantly, and there may be days when you do not want to see anybody or do anything.

Can ADHD cause a lack of emotion?

No, ADHD cannot cause a lack of emotion. People with ADHD are no different from other people because they deal with a broad range of emotions. When someone scolds them, they feel hurt. When someone bullies them, they feel angry. If anything, though, the emotions feel more intense for them, to the extent that they cannot function normally.

How a person with ADHD thinks?

When a child has ADHD, having fun is perhaps the primary thing in their mind. Nothing that a teacher or parent, or guardian can say can keep them from running around or doing whatever they like. That’s impulsivity and hyperactivity for you.

Once the person with ADHD becomes an adult, they cannot help but feel alienated sometimes. They tend to interpret others’ words differently and feel misunderstood.

Can ADHD make you quiet?

Yes, ADHD can make you quiet. When that happens, it means that you are experiencing inattentiveness, not impulsiveness. This symptom often makes a person too shy to talk to anyone.

How can I quiet my ADHD mind?

If your mind cannot stay quiet, you can try the following:

• Accept that you have ADHD. Sometimes, you cannot do things as effectively as others, and there is nothing you can do about it. Instead of feeling awful, try to figure out how you can diminish the symptoms.
• Boost your physical activities. Experts say that exercise causes the brain to release more serotonin and reduce the production of cortisol. However, avoid doing it for more than two hours because that will give you the opposite results.
• Use a timer. One of the typical reasons for a noisy mind is that you always lose track of time whenever you are doing something fun. If you have a timer, though, you will know when to stop one activity and move on to another.
• Stick to a specific schedule. This tip goes in conjunction with the previous one. A plan prevents you from getting stressed since you know what activities to do at what time.
• Expect the unexpected. Although everything seems normal now, it does not guarantee that it will all be the same in the next hour. You can avoid feeling overwhelmed by staying alert all the time.

Can ADHD go away?

No, ADHD cannot go away. The reason is that you are technically born with this disorder, so you cannot outgrow or cure it. Nevertheless, the symptoms tend to diminish as you grow old. It is also possible to manage ADHD by getting therapy.

Can ADHD kill me?

Technically, no, ADHD cannot kill you – it is not like cancer or diabetes or any physical disorder that weakens the body if left untreated. Despite that, the condition increases your chances of getting in an accident, considering you may end up doing something that may endanger your life. After all, impulsivity is one of its many symptoms.

Does ADHD make you obsessive?

Yes, ADHD can somewhat make you obsessive. This issue is not something that you can always train out of your system. Regardless of what you do, obsessive thoughts may continue to play in your head repeatedly.

A likely reason for this is your impulsivity. Often, you tend to act first and think later. Because of that, you may commit a mistake before you figure out its repercussions.

Does ADHD shorten your life?

There is not enough study to determine that ADHD can shorten your life. However, it is true that many people with ADHD – particularly women – have more chances of dying prematurely than those who live without this condition. The primary cause of death is an accident.

Do people with ADHD say inappropriate things?

Yes, people with ADHD are prone to saying inappropriate things. It is not because they want to be rude; they have no clue what they are not supposed to say on certain occasions. According to scientists, this issue is caused by their impulsiveness.

Who famous has ADHD?

You may be surprised by the number of famous personalities who have been diagnosed with ADHD. Some of them include:

• Adam Levine (singer)
• Howie Mandel (comedian)
• Justin Timberlake (singer, actor)
• Michael Phelps (swimmer)
• Paris Hilton (socialite)
• Solange Knowles (singer)

Does ADHD make you immature?

Yes, ADHD technically makes you immature. A specific diagnosis in ADHD individuals is that their brains do not develop as fast as their peers. Thus, while the other kids may be serious about studying or following orders, hyperactive kids may continue to run around the classroom or mind their own business.

Is ADHD a form of autism?

No, ADHD is not a form of autism, although the two conditions share similar symptoms. However, if you are already in the spectrum, there is a high likelihood of getting diagnosed with ADHD. Consequently, if you have ADHD, it is possible to also deal with some form of autism.

Final Thoughts

Having two incurable diseases comorbidding does not seem like the most optimistic scenario for anyone. That’s especially true for kids who may not even be able to control themselves.

Despite that, the key was always to let the child know that you would never give up on them. That’s what my friends did to Sam, and she’s doing better than ever now.

The COVID-19 pandemic is sweeping over the world, and no one is unaffected. As adults, we can get a good grasp of what’s happening through reliable sources, but our children rely on us for information. They might ask us why they can’t go out to meet their friends, or why they can’t go out to play. As responsible parents, we comply with the guidelines of staying home and physically distancing ourselves from others to maintain our physical health. However, we also have to watch our mental health and the mental health of our children. The pandemic makes us all anxious, our children included.

Be Calm And Reassuring

Your child won’t be able to keep calm if you aren’t either! Even if you feel fear or panic at the thought of the coronavirus, this is one thing that your child doesn’t need to see. It would help your child if you honestly showed them how you feel, but before talking to them, make sure you’re able to manage your anxiety first. Use a calm voice when speaking to them. As a parent, you have to be a reassuring, comforting presence.

Therefore, make sure that you can reassure your child. All the preventative measures in the world can be in place, but if your child doesn’t feel comforted by you, their parent, they might still worry excessively. Let them know that the stress they’re feeling is normal, but also manageable.

Be Honest

Your child will, of course, have questions. Your goal now is to make sure that the thoughts they have and the things that they imagine aren’t unrealistic monsters. What you need to do is to tell them just enough information to keep them informed, without scaring them. The best way to keep our children informed is by explaining the coronavirus in ways that they understand and can control. Explain the ways the coronavirus spreads and its effects. It would also help to show that organizations all over the world are doing the best they can to beat the coronavirus. This way, even though they know there’s a threat, they also understand that they can control it and that others are working to manage it as well.

Children don’t like being left in the dark – not knowing what’s happening magnifies any fear they’re already facing. Uncertainty will cause far more anxiety than a known, visible, and controllable problem. However, you must be able to gauge just how much information your child can process. Dumping a large amount of information on them may overwhelm them and only stress them out further. Instead of presenting all the information you have, it may be easier to allow your child to lead the conversation by only answering their questions. If you come across a question you can’t explain, rather than tell them that you don’t know, it will be better to work with them to find the answer. Of course, ensure that you guide your child as you research!

Be Open

Establish a dialogue as well. Your child may have heard about the coronavirus from other sources, some of which might not be reliable. Let them share what they know with you so that you can address misinformation. You will also want to direct them to reliable news sources and sites and show them how they can identify them.

Now, you’ll want to show that not only is it worldwide organizations that can combat the coronavirus, but your child and your family as well. Since you explained how the coronavirus spreads, you can show how to prevent that spread at home. To make it easier for your child, create a schedule or routine that your family can follow. This method keeps your day structured. It doesn’t have to be extremely rigid.

Finally, keep talking! You’ve had one talk about the coronavirus, but your child might continue receiving information from elsewhere. Make sure that they know that you’ll update them – and ensure that you do update them about what’s happening in the world. They might return to you with new problems, or, as some parents know, repeats of old ones. Answer them calmly and reassuringly still – even if the questions feel like they’re getting old.

In short, establish control over the situation and let your child feel like they too can control the threat themselves. Don’t keep them out of the loop where their imagination can prey on them. Keep the knowledge flowing both ways.

Often, parents think their kids cannot understand a lengthy explanation, that’s why they settle on two-word answers. They are sometimes unaware that it is how they respond that children learn about how this world works. Their brain can take in more than we realize, and if we do not make an effort to elaborate a simple NO, they will end up concluding on their own. Continue reading “Parents Should Know What Their Words Mean To Their Children”

Time drifts so fast. One minute, she is a child, and the other minute, she is going to be a mom. No matter how old or ready our children are when it comes to having their own family, they will always be our baby, and we will still be their parents who meddle and intrude but most importantly their parents who care.

Continue reading “Parenting A Soon-To-Be Parent”

Cell phones are essential nowadays. Everyone has it, even children, and although it is a trend, some parents think twice about getting his or her children a cell phone. They believe that their kids will be left out in school if they are the only ones who do not have it. They are pressured to give in to the standards of the society, and the children likewise, feel the need to follow the trend and fit in. Continue reading “Why You Should And Should Not Buy Your Children A Cell Phone”

The internet is full of different kinds of information which some are too tragic or violent to watch. Though it is appropriate to educate the children about the reality of this world, sometimes, there are things they do not need to see literally. For instance, there is a petition circling on Facebook about saving the dogs in China from a brutal end since the Chinese Dog Eating Festival is forthcoming.

Continue reading “Why You Should Never Let Your Kids Watch Traumatic Videos On The Internet”

Home is where children first learn between right from wrong. It is where they prepare to be responsible adults, and it is vital that both parents agree on how they discipline their children. Both mom and dad should talk over the house rules and other issues concerning the wellbeing of their kids. 

 

  Continue reading “Fathers And Mothers: Your Children Need You Both “

 

I Am Separated From My Husband

I understand that “One of the things divorced partners frequently fail to recognize is the importance of the other parent in the kid’s life.” Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC said. separated for almost two years. The kids are with me, and he is supportive to an extent. There is nothing wrong to say about him because we parted ways amicably. I had to work part-time though after we separated to have my income. Times are different, and while I miss my old life, this new life is giving me hope.

 

When we were together, he took care of everything. I was in charge of the kids and the house, while he would take care of the bills. He still sends me some money, and of course support for our two kids, but it’s different now. I am almost divorced and single with two six-year-olds, while he has a new girlfriend who is ten years younger than us.

 

I Just Couldn’t Forgive Him

 

In all honesty, I don’t mind. I was the one who filed for divorce. We married early; I think we were only 18 at that time because we had Nina. Oh, Nina. My little girl, Nina. She was 22 when the accident happened. I blamed my husband for it that’s why we’re separated. He’s been consistently telling me that we’re soul mates and that God had a reason as to why this happened. My ex-hubby fell asleep at the wheel and crashed to a post which rendered my Nina dead on the spot. She was in the passenger’s seat.

 

I think I gave him a tough time after that and I may have been irrational. Looking outside box, I mean, who wouldn’t be in a crazy state? Your daughter is dead by the hand of your husband. It was an accident, yes, I know that, and my mother has said that to me a million times. But still, how can one heal from that loss? I will never see her again, and every time I am with my husband, it reminds me of what I lost – my daughter.

 

 

The Meeting

 

One day, I got a call from him, and he asked to meet at a quaint café nearby. I knew the reason for this meeting. He was getting serious with the “teenager,” and that they’d get married soon. This meeting was to tell me about it – oh, I know him so well.

 

I decided to be there early, and when I arrived, he was already there. He had a bunch of pink and purples tulips, my favorite, and I was pretty sure that he was nervous. It’s been a long time since I saw him face to face as we corresponded through calls and private messaging only. When he had visitations, he would get the kids from school on Fridays, and I’d have them back on Mondays. I pick them up in school. The last time I saw him was more than six months, and now, there’s a flutter.

 

My walk towards him was like slow motion. I knew he would move on and start again without me. This is what I wanted, right? Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP once said, “All marriages are not salvageable. In the process of marriage counseling, some couples may discover it is healthier for them to be apart.” That is why I filed for divorce and now, why are my insides all juggling?

 

When he saw me, he flashed his handsome smile, that same smile that made me fall in love with him 25 years ago. It was weird, but I felt giddy. He stood up and acted as if he wanted to kiss me on the cheek, but then I hugged him in a “non-personal” way. We sat down as he guided his hand on my arm. There were goosebumps, but I said to myself that I shouldn’t be feeling this way because we are almost divorced. I asked for this, and I wanted this. Plus, he seems serious with his girlfriend now. I can’t mess that up. He gave me the tulips, and I said thanks.

 

We ordered food, and I started the conversation. I wanted to be done with it because my eyes were giving me away. I was close to crying, and I didn’t want him to know that I was hurt. So I said that it’s okay, he can marry his girlfriend, and we’re good. I told him that there’s nothing to worry about from my end.

 

He was wide-eyed, and he smiled again. My ex slowly moved his right hand to my left and held it. His words were like magic: Don’t push me away. Let’s start over, and maybe you’ll learn to forgive me for the death of our daughter. I tried to move on, but I can’t. You’re my soul mate and my only love. It has always been you, and only you.

 

 

No Promises, Just Starting Over

 

I made no promises then, but I agreed to the Discernment Counseling he asked of me. After that, I asked the courts to dismiss the divorce that I filed, and it was approved. We both agreed to go to Marital Counseling. Right now, we are rebuilding and in the getting-to-know-each-other-again phase. Heather Edwards LMHC, NCC, BCC says, “Give yourself time to heal. We can be harder on ourselves than on any other person. Realize that fully overcoming the issues you had to face during your relationship may take time, and that’s OKAY.” So we are trying to make it work. I think Nina had a hand in this.

 

My eldest daughter knocked on my door at around midnight. I woke up from my light sleep as her knocks were urgent and almost like an emergency. “Mom… Open the door, right now,” she said. And so I scrambled and stood up from the bed, half asleep, I opened the door, and she entered.

Continue reading “Parents Who Have Affairs: Your Child Is Deeply Affected It!”