Contrary to what everybody thinks, handling individuals inside a home is much complicated than being out in the community. People living in the same roof have to endure diversities among each one of them every single day. The family members inside the house share different characteristics, traits, opinions, and behaviors. Yes, each member of the unit understands that there is a specific personality for everybody. Therefore, they assume that since there is diversity inside the house, some issues should receive a pass. But does it?
Everyone Wants Authority (Gets It Through Financial Contribution)
In most families, the ones with the most substantial financial contribution often sit in as the authority. Jason B. Whiting, PhD, LMFT explains that “Many referred to financial limitations, and these were often connected to caring for children: “I had no family, two young children, no money, and guilt because he had brain damage from a car accident.” Others were unable to keep jobs because of the abuser’s control or their injuries, and others were used financially by their abuser: “[My] ex racked up thousands of debt in my name.” People in the house agree that the individuals that share a lot of money to support members deserve the spot. It may sound a bit common, though. But the problem with that particular setting is the over usage of monetary power. The ones who financially contribute a lot often use it as an “ace” to get some of the rights that should belong to the other members of the family.
Kids Feel Entitled Because They Think Their Parents Are Incapable
“Some people are able to find their truth without pushing back so hard on their parents, but usually there is some turbulence in the process.” says Evan Kimble, LMHC. One reason why there are people who ignore a family issue like this is that parents spoil their kids. They allow their kids to grow too much confidence in having everything they want regardless of the consequences there may be. In unfortunate cases, some parents make their kids feel entitled to make decisions all the time because they seem to think they are capable of. And kids love that. These children feel a false sense of empowerment due to their parents’ constant approval.
There Are No Boundaries, Limits, And Restrictions
According to Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC, “For the most part, the parents are on the right track with firm boundaries, negative consequences for poor choices, positive rewards, and looking at the motivation behind the behavior. These elements are essential to intentional parenting yet it is not enough. Instead, the small changes sometimes make the biggest impact.” People might say that a family that has no boundaries, limits, and restrictions is a unit that understands each other. That is bullshit. When everyone in the house can cross each others’ lines, it does not mean they are open about everything. It merely means they are invading someone else’s privacy, property, and whatnots. It is not ideal that members of the family think everybody in the house is okay when someone else is using their stuff. That it is okay if someone is dictating and making life-long decisions for them even if they do not agree to that.
Everybody Wants To Talk, But Nobody Wants To Listen
The leading cause of family misunderstanding is the lack of communication. The whole concept of it is broad. However, in a particular setting, a family issue that often gets ignored is when every member focuses on opinions but is not open to suggestions. These people believe that their words are worth sharing and have a better impact compared to the rest. So, regardless if it does not fit other people’s desires, thoughts, and feelings, they will still say what they want to say. What matters to these people is their twisted ideology and nothing else.
If people look closely on these ignored family issues, each one of them can agree. They are all responsible for making a false impression about what a family should and should not become.