I Want A Family – Is That Too Much To Ask?

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Don’t get me wrong. I live in a house that I share with my parents and siblings. We are what people see us as a typical family. My father works in the office, and my mom stays at home. My brother is an active athlete, and my sister is a cheerleader. At first, when people don’t look closer to what each of us is, they will assume that all of us in the family are happy members of the unit. However, we are not. Yes, we understand that we are a family, but inside the house, we are merely individuals who do not seem to know, care, and value each other.

There Is No Time For Everyone

I understand that we all have responsibilities that we need to prioritize. My father has to provide for our future; that is why he needs to spend more time at work. There are times that he does not come home, and for us, it should have to be okay. My mom caters all the things in our home. That includes doing the laundry, going to the groceries, preparing meals, and cleaning the house. It is her everyday duty, so we do not get to complain when she wants to have more time alone. My brother is in a varsity team, so he needs to spend more time practicing with his friends and teammates. And when he gets home exhausted, he needs to take more rest too. My sister is socially active. She wants people to know that she can be friendly to everyone. However, inside the house is different.  She does not speak to anyone of us because she is too busy entertaining people in a chat. How about me? Well, I am just a girl who wants my dysfunctional family to notice what we are. I understand Dr. Marisa Alter, PsyD, a clinical psychologist statement when she said, “If you find yourself avoiding parties, work gatherings, or even your own friends and family, there may be a fear of judgment or underlying feelings of inadequacy.” She’s right. I feel so alone.

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I know my situation is different from a lot of people. But I do believe there is someone out there that shares the same story as mine. No, I am not asking for a perfect family. I want these individuals inside my circle to realize that time is precious. It will never come back once it is gone. Well, it is not that I did not try and attempt to communicate with them. I did. I managed to tell these people in our house what I am feeling. But because they are too focused on their duties and growth, they forget to look at us as a team. My parents and siblings forget that a family does not always mean sticking together like literally. It should be working together as one.

“The goal of family therapy is to help family members improve communication, solve family problems, understand and handle special family situations, and create a better functioning home environment. ” –Dave Kaplowitz, LMFT, CGP

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Lillian Harris LCPC-C states that “So much of mental health work is about giving people a space to be witnessed and held while sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly of human life.” And I get that. I know I can still try and work on things that can make my family change. But as long as they are closed-minded about my intentions, they will continue living like zombies. Honestly, I know I am not asking for too much. I want to spend more time with them. But if time is not that important in keeping a family intact, I want to know what does.